3 Easy Steps: The Beginning of a Disciplined Mind (Part One)

"The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of a provocative person." ~ Stephen Covey

My journey to a healthier lifestyle has been rather turbulent. One moment I am diligent and the next I am off the wagon lost in a box of Twinkies.

Sure I want a slim bod with a J-Lo butt, however, moments of weakness take over and by the fourth slice of pizza I'm swimming in shame and regret.

The up and down relationship with fitness lasted a few years and literally came to end when I got sick and tired of the bullshit I was putting my mind and body through. Lack of results and the same excuse year after year infringed on my sanity.

What happened? How did I get off the cycle of self-loathing and enter into a place of self-compassion and fortitude?

First, I changed my mindset. I had this God-awful narrative running on repeat in my head about all the shit that had ever happened to me because I needed an excuse about WHY I made poor choices and fell short. In fact, I am sure every boyfriend I had heard the sob story about my pitiful life. I am not diminishing the intensity of abuse or experiences had, but I had a well-oiled machine used to garner sympathy in moments of weakness.

But that shit got old real quick (rather thirty years later) once I actually listened to how I used my past for justifying present-time behavior. For example, if my husband called me cold and distant, I would deflect by reverting back to a time with my mother who initiated this pattern of behavior. Seemingly, this excuse worked for the moment, but I would find myself acting out the same cruelty time and again.

Enough. I simply had enough because I finally got sick to my stomach about the narrative I told myself and others. I was ready to change and started seeking the things to help me get out of this spiritual crapshoot I found myself spiraling down. How?

• A practice in vulnerability. There is nothing scarier than being open and honest about the struggles we deal with. Fear of judgment and abandonment are HUGE barriers to overcome, but once I decided to share my shit - I felt free.

• Meaningful connections. Connection with yourself first is KEY. Learning how to be gentle and supportive of ourselves is necessary to create compassion and self-love. This practice naturally extends to others authentically and the by-product is a supportive network of inspiration for moments when the days get tough.

• Healthy communication. I played the victim to my own circumstance. I blamed others for what happened to me and I used food to rescue me from feeling disconnected and empty. However, none of these behaviors proved helpful. I experienced momentary relief, but a long-term solution to any problem is getting comfortable with communicating your truth - NO MATTER WHAT! 

I am sure that you have heard, "What the mind can conceive, it can achieve." This is not a miracle or a kind of "woo-woo" practice reserved for a select few. Think about it . . . at one point in time, we didn't have chairs to sit on, but someone got a brilliant idea to create chairs and so it was created. The same elementary thinking that created a chair is the same thinking we need to change our mindset. 

I realize this is rather long and therefore, I breaking this post into three different areas; more to come later. If you have found this information relevant, helpful, blatantly lame . . . please feel free to share!

TTYL,

Sisu